My Son, Bryan

 

Bryan is one of the friendliest people I know, and I've known him his entire life. He is our oldest child. From childhood, he has had the ability to make friends. I like that about him. Also, before he could even speak, he knew the letters of the alphabet, I could say the letters and he would point to them. Smart boy! His first real toy, was a small match box car. Today, he still loves his cars. There are many things about Bryan that I love, but mostly I love his tender heart. He is kind and respectful. I love watching him as a father, he reminds me so much of his own father, and the sweetness he has towards his son. I am blessed to be his mom and to watch him as a husband, father, and to see him grow in his life with God.  

Seeing the Invisible

 

Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle.

James 1:17

 

As a child one of my favorite things to do was to look through the Sears catalog and dream of all the beautiful clothes and toys that could be mine. Brand new clothes, and an abundance of toys! So, you can only imagine my sheer joy when I woke Christmas morning with a living room jam packed with Christmas presents from Mormon missionaries. And, this was two years in a row! What a blessing.

Growing up in a community Where the majority of people around me were Mormon, encouraged me to want to feel invisible. I was the odd one out. I was very different, and it showed. 

Over the years as I have replayed the memory of being at BYU with the university student and wanting to be invisible; the fullness of it has not ever come back to me. But as I was talking to a friend the other day, I was reminded that the impact of this memory has occupied a large space in my mind. And, eventhough God has continually healed me, enormously restored me, famously rebuilt me, this memory still remains.  As I come before Him and humbly ask Him "what Jesus are you trying to tell me with this memory?"  I hear His whisper "You don't have to have every piece, to be whole in me." 

God holds me from seeing pieces of me, still, yet glimpses of the invisible, and He braves me on to walk in authentic courage. It's not that easy to move to visible courage everyday. But, His light is cascading down from the Father of Light, and there is nothing deceitful about that; it's all out there. When I ask to see the face of God, He shows me. He has not remained invisible to me, this is how I know He sees me.

Seeing the Invisible

 

 

 

 

You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you're named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls. 1 Peter 2:25

I attended this church and school for many years. It was the fabric of my life. I grew up knowing all the Bible stories, and the books of the Bible, but I didn't know about grace. I didn't know Jesus as my personal Savior. I didn't know that He loved me or that He could see me. I had no idea that He had a purpose just for me. I thought I was invisible to Him. In reality He was keeping my soul for good.

Even though I felt like a misfit, invisible to the people around me. God was in tune to my every need, using my pain to mold me for a future plan. Growing my heart to see the heart of others.

This is my journey, my story of feeling invisible, and discoving that God sees the invisible.

join me over the next few weeks on my V-Chats as I visit a few childhood places and travel down memory lane.

Please share with me how God has taken your pain and turned it into good. How has He taken the ashes of your life and turned it into something beautiful? Where is He showing you visibility and purpose?