Words

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Published: Thursday, 02 June 2016 09:35

Written by Bethany Looyenga

God reached out, touched my mouth, and said, "Look! I've just put my words in your mouth--hand delivered!"

Jeremiah 1:9

Words have been on my mind a lot. For much of my life I haven't had a lot to say, and then there was a day that I believed God was telling me to speak to others. But, I still didn't have a lot of words. I thought He was silly to ask me to speak to anyone. And, I didn't completely believe it. Then, again, while we were on a vacation and I was walking, I had an experience with the Holy Spirit that convinced me He wanted me to speak, somehow, somewhere, someday. While listening to the Spirit that day, He put this verse in Jeremiah on my heart. 

Since then, I have had many experiences with His Spirit prompting me to speak. And, many experiences with His people, who have known nothing of my personal journey, that tell me the Spirit has shown them I am to speak!  

As I continue to consider this, walk in this, and picture each word being hand delivered from God, I feel in awe.

Is this true for you too? As His beloved child, this is exactly what He is doing for you. He resides within your heart. You have His mind. He is daily molding your very being to renew, restore, and revive you--to give you His words.  He is growing within you so that every word you speak, comes from Him, and there is fruit, light, hope, and abundant joy.

This is His message to me. As I weigh each word and consider the source, I still find I don't have a lot to say, just better things to say with more power.

Just Hold On

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Published: Sunday, 29 May 2016 14:13

Written by Bethany Looyenga

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When you come to Him, that fullness comes together for you, too. His power extends over everything. 

Colossians 1:22

Several losses in a row was very difficult for my body physically, and emotionally. I was exhausted. I was having migraines every day. My thyroid was out of whack and I could barely get of bed. My hair was brittle and falling out in handfuls, my fingernails were breaking. I felt very isolated from everyone. The only person that knew my pain was my husband. He is the only one that knew how many times we had been pregnant and how many losses we had experienced. I didn't have the energy to share with anyone else.

We both knew that only God could heal this pain. My husband's pain, I think was more from watching me. 

As I brought all my anger, fear, pain, and disappointment to God over the failure to have another baby, I learned that His love has the power to shine light in every area of my life. As I began to heal from the pain of loosing these babies, He revealed to me other fears that had developed, and other joys I had learned to recognize. As I watched my four sons, I was so amazed at the gift God had already blessed me with, and saw in them so many beautiful gifts that He had given them. I felt privileged to have them in my life, each of them alive and a miracle from God. 

The fear that would constantly creep into my thoughts would be loss. I would be afraid of loosing them. Afraid of something tragic happening to one of them, or all of them. Afraid of death. My fears, sometimes overshadowed my miracles. 

The first time I saw a picture of our daughter, we adopted from China, my heart burst. She was beautiful! She was evidence of all of God's love and power towards us. He was showing me this beautiful child, and it was like saying to me " I  know how much pain you have been in, this lovely little soul is waiting for you in China, and she is yours. I have picked her out for you."

I felt so much joy, and yes, I felt fear. It took a lot of steps forward to believe that it was all going to come together. And, it did. 

Now, I look back and see that holding on through the sorrow believing that God  will come through somehow with His love and power and extend  it over everything. It may take years, it may seem impossible, it will feel like a battle (because it is) , but He will pull life together somehow in some way. He will shine light, and there will be fullness. You, and I, all of us, just need to hold on. We need to pray, believe, and keep walking forward. 

He is Calling Your Name

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Published: Friday, 27 May 2016 06:54

Written by Bethany Looyenga

I will go before you and make the crooked places straight; I will break in pieces the gates of bronze and cut the bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know, that I the Lord, Who call you by your name, Am the God of Israel.

Isaiah 45:2-3

On those days when you cannot see what is in front of you, when everything around you is grey, and dismal,  the path is so crooked and each step is treacherous, think on this: He is before you! He will stretch out the path so it is staight, and light up the darkness so you can see the hidden treasure. He will call you by your name, so you will not be lost. 

There have been many times in my life that I have not been able to see ahead, and I have not known what to do. I have been afraid to make the step. His call to me to move ahead with a choice, in faith, is believing that He will make the crooked straight because I have obeyed. He will break down the gates of bronze that keep getting in my way, because I have listened to His voice, and not the voice of "should" or fear or "what if" He will cut through the bars of iron in whatever the resistance is and then I will see all the hidden riches, because I obeyed.

Is He calling your name today? Are you afraid to take the step towards Him because the path is crooked or too dark? Is there something He is beackoning you to reach out and do, but it seems like too much? He is there for you, and He will go before you. He has hidden riches waiting for you. 

He is calling your name!

Crazy Joy, Madness, and Sadness Part 2 (Sorrow into Joy)

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Published: Thursday, 26 May 2016 15:46

Written by Bethany Looyenga

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For I will restore you and heal you of your wounds, says  the Lord, because they called you an outcast saying: "this is Zion; No one seeks her." 

Jeremiah 30:17

When we were told that we were indeed pregnant, after believing we were not for over a month, my sorrow was instantly gone! Even though I had lost a baby, my childs twin, I was able to see that incredible miracle that God had blessed us with, and I felt so joyful. I knew in my heart that this child I carried would indeed be very special! My pregnancy with him was one miracle after another, I spent most of my time on bedrest, and much of it in the hospital. He was eager to come out and see the world. On the day he was born, he was breech and my water broke early in the morning. Consequently, I had an emergency C-section. Our son was 4 weeks early, and healty. 

After our still birth at 25 weeks, we waited the counseled time before trying for another child. My sorrow was deep, and I wanted to try again. I couldn't imagine that it would happen again, as the doctor assured me that nothing was wrong. Our son that was born at 25 weeks had no defects, there were no explanations as to why he did not survive. I was encouraged to try again and when it was time I felt strong and eager to be pregnant and give our youngest son a sibling. 

The next pregnancy was also a boy. At 20 weeks I was at the doctor in the waiting room, and I had a feeling of dread come over me. I knew that this baby too was not alive. When I made it back to the exam room I told my doctor that I thought the baby was no longer living. She was startled. She began to listen for the heartbeat, but she was not able to find one, so she quickly took me to get an ultrasound.

There was no heartbeat.

I remember feeling like I could not breathe. 

I called my husband, and he came to be with me. Again, arrangements were made for me to go to the hospital. This time for a d&c. 

I went through this three more times. And, then it was enough. It was madness. I had used up all my sadness, and moved to madness. God was NOT giving me what I wanted, and I was mad! I was hurt, confused, in pain, afraid, and it felt completely crazy! I wondered what HIS problem was! 

Yet, His promise was: For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

And, then my husband offered adoption, and I accepted.