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When you come to Him, that fullness comes together for you, too. His power extends over everything. 

Colossians 1:22

Several losses in a row was very difficult for my body physically, and emotionally. I was exhausted. I was having migraines every day. My thyroid was out of whack and I could barely get of bed. My hair was brittle and falling out in handfuls, my fingernails were breaking. I felt very isolated from everyone. The only person that knew my pain was my husband. He is the only one that knew how many times we had been pregnant and how many losses we had experienced. I didn't have the energy to share with anyone else.

We both knew that only God could heal this pain. My husband's pain, I think was more from watching me. 

As I brought all my anger, fear, pain, and disappointment to God over the failure to have another baby, I learned that His love has the power to shine light in every area of my life. As I began to heal from the pain of loosing these babies, He revealed to me other fears that had developed, and other joys I had learned to recognize. As I watched my four sons, I was so amazed at the gift God had already blessed me with, and saw in them so many beautiful gifts that He had given them. I felt privileged to have them in my life, each of them alive and a miracle from God. 

The fear that would constantly creep into my thoughts would be loss. I would be afraid of loosing them. Afraid of something tragic happening to one of them, or all of them. Afraid of death. My fears, sometimes overshadowed my miracles. 

The first time I saw a picture of our daughter, we adopted from China, my heart burst. She was beautiful! She was evidence of all of God's love and power towards us. He was showing me this beautiful child, and it was like saying to me " I  know how much pain you have been in, this lovely little soul is waiting for you in China, and she is yours. I have picked her out for you."

I felt so much joy, and yes, I felt fear. It took a lot of steps forward to believe that it was all going to come together. And, it did. 

Now, I look back and see that holding on through the sorrow believing that God  will come through somehow with His love and power and extend  it over everything. It may take years, it may seem impossible, it will feel like a battle (because it is) , but He will pull life together somehow in some way. He will shine light, and there will be fullness. You, and I, all of us, just need to hold on. We need to pray, believe, and keep walking forward.